*No children were harmed in the making of this video.

And now we all understand Elly’s frustration with having five brothers. On the other hand, it does afford her the opportunity to audition for an orange juice commercial on youtube.

1. “I can’t wait to go shoe shopping!”

2. “I’ve had enough coffee for one day.”

3. “I’m completely caught up on laundry.”

4. “My home is too clean.”

5. “I am in the mood to shop for groceries.”

6. “Maybe we should cut down on expenses by getting rid of the internet connection.”

7. “Boys, I’m tired of you sitting there quietly reading your books. Why don’t you wrestle.”

8. “Do these jeans make my rear end look small?”

9. “I just want you to take me out dancing at the bar.”

10. “Sure I have stamps. They are in my purse.”

11. “You’re grounded for cleaning the bathroom without asking.”

12. “I really want to homeschool the kids again.”

13. “It’s really hot in here.”

14. “We need to buy the kids glitter for Christmas.”

15. “I love deadlines.”

16. “I’m not in the mood to take your picture.”

17. “Can we watch UFC instead of this cooking show?”

18. “This would taste perfect if we just add some flax seed oil.”

19. “I’ll be back in a bit. I’m going to my pilates class.”

20. “Boy, that Obama, he sure supports the rights of the unborn.”

Darren’s work email has a spam filter unlike any filter I’ve ever experienced. I’m envious since I’m always receiving spam about enlarging certain body parts whereas those kind of messages automatically end up in Darren’s quarantined file.

Knowing how sensitive his email can be, I decided to proposition him very carefully.

“Darren, if you leave work now it will give us three whole hours before the kids arrive home and I can think of the perfect way to spend them.”

And then I cyber-flashed him.

(* Y * )

After I sent the message, I realized that I had just participated in false advertising.

I made a few changes and resent the email.

“Darren, if you leave work now it will give us three whole hours before the kids arrive home and I can think of the perfect way to spend them.”

( . Y . )

If his spam program has an honesty filter, my second email should arrive just fine.

My 20 year old daughter, Kait, was describing a nightmare she recently had about the world coming to an end.

In her dream animals were attacking humans, giant comets were falling from the sky and chaos spread over the planet.

She went on and on with the horror of it all.

Kait was visibly upset and the rest of us sat in silence trying to figure out what to say in response. I was trying to think of how to gracefully change the subject. Darren just looked at me wide-eyed and shrugged his shoulders. The boys were just staring at the floor imagining the ugly word picture Kait just painted for us.

That’s when Elly, in a thick sarcastic tone and with rolling eyes, said “Well. Thank God you’re not a psychic!”

Yes… change is coming, indeed.

Castro Jumps on the Obama bandwagon and unless you are Sean Penn, if that doesn’t send shivers up your spine, I don’t know what will.

In the spirit of fairness and equality, I owe it to the Left Wing Nuts Democrats to show their new president-elect the exact same kind of respect and loyalty that they have shown our recent Republican president.

Because I’m just nice that way.