**Due to the sensitive nature of this post, names have been changes in order to protect the guilty**

We are fortunate to have central air conditioning in our home despite the fact that the unit which came with our house when we purchased it is just a little too small to cool properly on the really hot days.

Kyle and Cartman’s room tends to be the warmest in the house so they have a large fan in their room to help keep things tolerable in the heat of the summer evening.

Unfortunately, the fan has become a great source of contention between the brothers. They both want to fall asleep with the fan blowing directly on them because then they are the winner.

Tonight the fighting and arguing was in rare form. I ignored the ever-increasing volume of debate because I was too tired to care about something so trivial. All I wanted for the remaining hours of my evening was to sprawl, bra-less, on my couch with a spoon and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. I fantasized about it all day long.

“Mommmm! Tell Cartman to turn the fan on meeeee. He’s had it on him for the last two nightsssssssss,” pleaded Kyle in the tone of voice that makes me say really bad words in my head.

“Cartman!” I responded from the couch in the living room, “It’s Kyle’s turn to have the fan on him tonight and if you say one word about it, the fan is coming out of your room!”

I used the voice that tells the kids I mean business. It’s the voice where all words are connected together and sound a lot like a machine gun being fired into the air by a member of the Medellín Cartel.

It was effective for about five minutes before Kyle made one last battle cry:

“MOMMMMM! CARTMAN KEEPS FARTING INTO THE FAN FOR NO REASON AND IT’S BLOWING RIGHT INTO MY FACE AND HE HAD BEAN WITH BACON SOUP FOR SUPPER!!!!”

And so one wind ruined the other.