This morning I thinned the carrots growing in my garden. It was an act done without malice in order to make room for the remaining carrots to come to fruition unimpaired by its impeding neighbor. Most gardeners understand this to be a necessary evil and I wouldn’t have thought twice about it had I not read The Weekly Standard’s article called “The Silent Scream of Asparagus“.

Here’s an exerpt:

You just knew it was coming: At the request of the Swiss government, an ethics panel has weighed in on the “dignity” of plants and opined that the arbitrary killing of flora is morally wrong. This is no hoax. The concept of what could be called “plant rights” is being seriously debated.

A few years ago the Swiss added to their national constitution a provision requiring “account to be taken of the dignity of creation when handling animals, plants and other organisms.” No one knew exactly what it meant, so they asked the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology to figure it out. The resulting report, “The Dignity of Living Beings with Regard to Plants,” is enough to short circuit the brain.

A “clear majority” of the panel adopted what it called a “biocentric” moral view, meaning that “living organisms should be considered morally for their own sake because they are alive.” Thus, the panel determined that we cannot claim “absolute ownership” over plants and, moreover, that “individual plants have an inherent worth.” This means that “we may not use them just as we please, even if the plant community is not in danger, or if our actions do not endanger the species, or if we are not acting arbitrarily.”

According to environmentalists, I am irresponsible for bringing too many human beings into the already overpopulated world. According to the vegans, I am evil for being an omnivore and according to Global Warmists, I’m to blame for dry lake beds because I only recycle when I feel like it. Now I’m supposed to mourn when I inadvertantly trample a dandelion? Is “Ortho Weed b gon” now considered a weapon of mass destruction? If so, then I am the new Saddam Hussein and the Swiss are going to have to invade my garage and bring an end to my planticide.

It seems that my mere existence is offensive to Mother Earth. I’ve been reduced to a boil on the ass of our planet by a country whose greatest accomplishment is, ironically,  a pocket knife.