Cabin fever is a wicked thing. Winter seems to drag its ice cold feet this year and I find myself longing for all things green.
In Minnesota we celebrate temperatures of 40 degrees and above with the wearing of shorts and opening of windows. Today we are a mere sixty degrees away from that balmy temperature with windchills approaching -20 F. Right now I am wearing a hideous ensemble of plaid flannel shirt, wool bra and thong, long johns and sweatpants and three layers of socks.
I am the poster child for Minnesota.
Today’s forecast:
Bitter cold again! Look for an icy sting in the air today as Northwest winds at 10 to 20 mph produce -20 below zero wind-chills this morning and -14 below zero wind-chills this afternoon. Temperatures will range from +3 degrees at 8 A.M. to +5 degrees at noon and +8 degrees at 4 P.M. Skies will be a mix of clouds and sun with some flurries at times.
Minnesotans are stoic creatures. We are not supposed to complain about cold temperatures. We are to endure, patiently, while comforting ourselves with lutefisk and Swedish meatballs. We make games of the cold. We have winter carnivals and parades. But this year my green thumb is frostbitten. My nose hairs form icicles when I step outside. Even the pine trees protest with sharp cracks that shatter in the super thin air and fall to the white forest floor as if to say “You’re joking, right?”
I am a Minnesota resident. I took the oath:
I pledge allegiance, to Minnesota, of the United States of America
And to the meteorologist, whom I solemnly curse
One tundra, under snow
With mukluks and mittens for all.
Yah, sure. You betcha.
