Dooce wears the man clogs.
Read about it here.
What’s next? Rosie O’Donnell announces that she’s actually a heterosexual and pro-war?
Archive for January 15th, 2008
Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
This is getting old now. Whatever you are holding out for or wanting is simply not as important as my viewing pleasure so I am asking you nicely to get back to work. Unless, of course, you are being forced to work under inhumane working conditions like drinking water from the community fountain instead of a $5 bottle. In which case, I understand.
But you need to understand something, too: I NEED The Office to come back. I am suffering from an extreme deficiency in Vitamin Schrute and it ain't pretty. I have been forced into writing my own imaginary episodes where Dwight sells the beet farm in order to enroll full time in Ninja school, Pam shifts into a bipolar episode and holds Angela hostage in the janitor's closet until she forgives Dwight for killing Sprinkles and Michael files workman's comp for permanent injury to his fingertips due to all the papercuts he's received.
STOP LEAVING ME TO MY OWN IMAGINATIONS!
What did I ever do to you except tune in faithfully on Thursday nights at 8 PM Central time? Did I not go to NBC's website and order "Support the Rabid" bracelets and t-shirts? I did my part to support each one of you and what do I get in return?
Reruns.
And dumb ass shows like "1 vs 100" which contain no references to throwing stars OR inappropriate jokes in the workplace.
It's time to put your ugly selfishness aside and resume making me laugh with lines like this:
Michael: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
