January 23rd, 2008 by Jennine

Believe it or not, I do have an explanation of why I change my blog’s appearance so often. It seems I have this thing where I easily become annoyed with the color on the walls in my home.

Whereas one week Hawthorne Yellow is my absolute FAVORITE color, the next it feels like I’m living in a tub of “I Cant Believe It’s Not Butter”. I’ve done many different painting techniques on my walls: sponge painting, feather painting, stenciling, faux marbling, antiquing… you name it, I’ve done it. At least three times. All in an attempt to soothe the inflammation in my color-sensitive mind.

I feel it’s a good time to mention that I am not someone who spends a lot of money on clothing, shoes, make-up, jewelry, etc. I tolerate old shoes quite well and I hardly notice that I’m wearing the same winter wardrobe I have had since before anyone knew who Brittney Spears was.

There’s alot that doesn’t bother me. Being banned from the paint section of Home Depot, does.

I realized that I have a paint compulsion when my friend, Stacy, visited a few years back and said “My God, woman! It looks like a clown vomited on your walls.” And she was right. My living room appeared to be suffering from one massive, three-day-old bruise.

So I mustered up some self control and painted the living room a very neutral eggshell color.

Three years ago.

It’s driving me absolutely bonkers but I’ve been forbidden to repaint by the man who actually measured the rainbowed layers bubbling beneath the surface of nuthouse white and discovered that I have managed to shrink our square footage by 1/4 inch. Therefore, I have no choice but to rearrange my blog just to take the edge off.

A quarter inch is nothing compared to the great vastness of the world wide web. My clown’s gotta vomit somewhere.

January 20th, 2008 by Jennine

A recent event in my community has led to some negative media coverage involving our school district.

One twin cities news station stumbled upon a website that I own and maintain for one of our sports teams and, without my permission, used my images in their news story. I was completely shocked as I watched their story unfold on television and saw how they used my photos without so much as a “May we?”. The last thing I wanted was for my community to believe that I had anything to do with the coverage, as if I contacted the station and provided them with information.

I called the news station and was redirected a half dozen times until I was speaking with the executive producer of the newsroom. This woman said “Anything you put on the web is public domain and we can use it however we want.” I argued that this was a privately owned domain and that the images were my intellectual property. I used the word “stolen” and “copyrighted”.

She agreed to remove a photo from their website but made no promises about the video feed and future broadcasts. She encouraged me to leave a voicemail for the vice-president of the station, which I did.

This morning I watched their coverage of the news story and there again were my images. I rechecked their website and discovered that they had put my photo back onto their site.

I called again after doing some research on Internet and copyright laws. This time the woman was not so friendly to me.

“How exactly have you copyrighted this material?” she asked.

“First of all, anything I write, any photographs I take belong to me. The copyright is automatically implied. I went a step further and posted that it is copyrighted by law. This isn’t ‘MySpace’ or ‘Facebook’. This is a domain I own with images I own. I suggest you read the legal disclaimer provided by Creative Commons. In the mean time, I will be delivering a Cease and Desist letter to your station first thing in the morning!”

She got really huffy with me and said “I’m going to contact our station’s attorney and get back to you!”

Meanwhile, I could tell by my stat counter that there was alot of activity on this site from a few different ISP addresses. They were definitely debating the legalities of their actions. A half hour later I received the call:

“We have decided to honor your request and remove the photos.”

“From your website?”

“Yes.”

“From your broadcasts?”

“Yes.”

“From any future broadcasts or stories?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect.”

Bloggers have rights.

Just because we put thoughts and images out their for the world to see doesn’t mean that we give up ownership in doing so. I highly recommend that every blogger reading this takes some steps to protect the content of your site. Here are a few links to get you started:

 Remedies for Infringement

Creative Commons 

What To Do If  Someone Steals Your Work 

Never in a million years did I think I would have to deal with this. I’m hoping you never have to
but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

Oh. And I’ll never watch KSTP news again. Shame on them.

January 16th, 2008 by Jennine

Recording Elly, even with a poor quality video cam, and putting it on YouTube is like handing me the keys to a Godiva store and saying “Have at it. Don’t stop til you get enough.”

It’s her dream come true, only because she’s too young to audition for American Idol.

And not once did any of her brothers interrupt her.

January 15th, 2008 by Jennine

Dooce wears the man clogs.
Read about it here.

What’s next? Rosie O’Donnell announces that she’s actually a heterosexual and pro-war?

January 15th, 2008 by Jennine

This is getting old now. Whatever you are holding out for or wanting is simply not as important as my viewing pleasure so I am asking you nicely to get back to work. Unless, of course, you are being forced to work under inhumane working conditions like drinking water from the community fountain instead of a $5 bottle. In which case, I understand.

January 13th, 2008 by Jennine

“Dad, I want to go ice fishing with Tyler.”

“That’s fine but where are you going to get the money to buy minnows?”

“Man, I really need to get a job. I’m tired of living birthday to birthday!”

January 11th, 2008 by Jennine

For those of you who do not know, my nine year old daughter is the author of a blog called “Ask Miss Elly”. She offers unusually wise advice for someone who still cannot reach the glasses on the shelf of our kitchen cupboard without jumping on the counter first.

For those of you who do know her…she’s as happy as a jackass eating thistles to have her very. own. website. And she misses Bill the most because he actually sent her $5 to answer a question correctly.

I invite you to visit Ask Miss Elly and if you’re in a really generous mood…ask her a question. She will undoubtedly have a hilarious answer.

January 8th, 2008 by Jennine

Imagine being too small to take part in one of doghood’s greatest pleasures: drinking from a toilet.

Thankfully we were able to provide an alternative for Mr. Bingley. Now if only we could find a miniature fire hydrant…

January 6th, 2008 by Jennine

Saturday we spent the entire day at a wrestling tournament for Kevin. By entire day I mean from the hours of “Are we there yet?” to “If I have to watch one more match, my eyeballs are going to implode”. It was a long day of plugging quarters into our children so that they could buy over-priced concession stand food and give us a momentary break from the “I’m bored” routine.

And yet, this is what loving families do for each other.

So next time I’m standing in line at the DMV, renewing my driver’s license, you can bet Kevin will be there cheering me on as my picture is taken. After my next pap smear, Kevin will be waiting outside the exam room with an ice cold Gatorade. He can pat my back and say “Good job, Mom! I’m proud of you!”

Okay. Maybe that’s a little extreme. Right now I can barely get him to acknowledge me as I hand him a stack of freshly laundered clothes. Truly the best case scenario I can imagine after investing so much time and energy on a child is that he will do the same for his own one day.

Anyway, Kevin took third place and I thought I’d share one of his pins captured on video by Elly Joy, his nine year old sister. (She insisted I mention her name so as not to infringe on her copyrights.)

Kevin is wearing the blue and yellow.

January 4th, 2008 by Jennine

I must have been a bad girl this year because Santa brought me a nasty virus for Christmas. It was one of those coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever gotta rest type of illnesses and I’m just now, ten days later, feeling back to my old self again.

Thanks for nothing, Airborne.

Anyway, as I was lying in bed in a hallucinatory, fever-induced state, I started thinking about the presidential campaign. Maybe it was Fox News playing in the background or maybe I’m a hyper-brilliant girl whose genius only surfaces with a climbing body core temperature, but I came up with an idea I just have to share.

I can’t speak for you but I for one am tired of hearing political rhetoric from all the candidates. They all promise to cut taxes, give birth to an entirely new health care system and restore the stability to the social security system. Promises, promises. All of the candidates seem so rehearsed and prepared, primped and packaged into something deemed acceptable by Gallop polls published in USA Today. It’s like The Stepford Candidates and it freaks me out. Instead campaign finance reform, why not just reform campaigns period?

Here’s my simple but genius idea- anyone seeking the office of President of the United States has to submit themselves to a battery of Reality television shows. The overall winner gets the job.

For instance, don’t you want to know if Clinton and Romney are Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Foreign policy experience seems irrelevant if you can’t even point out Tanzania on a map. I want the candidates to answer a 4th grade math question like- If a triangle has an area of 16 square inches and a base of 8 inches, how long is its height? If you get that wrong, how do we trust you to balance the national budget?

They say that leadership qualities are the most important thing to look for in a candidate. How about we match them up in pairs and send them on The Amazing Race? If Hilary stumbles and sprains her ankle while trying to catch a taxi cab in Istanbul, would Edwards help her along or call her a wussy girl and accuse her of faking? Would Hilary run a fair race or would she sabotage others along the way? That’s the kind of information I’m looking for before making my decision.

Another popular question: Does a candidate have the courage it takes to defend and protect our country in an ever-increasing hostile world? Put Huckabee and Thompson on Fear Factor and lets find out. Enough already with the well polished political ads, I want to see if they have the stomach to wear the eel helmet without crying out to their mommas. What a great way to determine if someone really wants the job.

You really want to get to know who you’re voting in to be president of our country? Put the entire bunch in to the Big Brother house and let’s watch them. No more speeches and debates. Let’s lock them in to a well monitored living environment and see who is the peacemaker, troublemaker, conformist, isolationist, etc… Let’s listen in to their conversations and analyze their body language while lounging at the pool’s edge. People can put on an act for only so long before their true colors appear.

Am I onto something here or did the quart of Nyquil I consumed during my illness fry a few important brain cells? Before you answer… picture Sean Hannity doing the tango with Hilary Clinton on “Dancing with the Presidential Candidates” and tell me you wouldn’t tune in to watch.