For the benefit of my future daughters-in-law, I’ve been trying to teach my five boys how to offer up a decent apology when feelings get hurt or injustices are inflicted. Relationships are made or destroyed by the ability or inability to admit a wrong and properly make amends. Bert and Ernie know how to do it. So did Cagney and Lacey. For some reason my boys cannot:
- “I’m sorry (pause) but you made me do it.”
- “Gosh, you freaking idiot. I’M SORRY!!”
- “I’m sorry already. Now shut up!“
Unless “I’m sorry” is followed by “How can I make it better?”, it doesn’t count. I cannot make someone be sorry for ruining someone else’s prized DVD player and I can’t force anyone into repentance for comparing someone’s teenage beard with that of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. In. Front. Of. Girls. At. School.
There are going to be five unmarried men living in my basement forever because no woman is going to put up with “What’s your problem? Like. I didn’t mean to do it so why should I say I’m sorry?“
