Today is a milestone for me. Kait started college and now I’m feeling old. Sensible shoes old. Decorate my shirts with a Bedazzler old. Clap on, clap off old.

Had I not just caught a glimpse of myself in the patio doors and noticed that my nipples were clearly not in alignment inside my 18 17 1/2 hour bra, this day would have been marked down as one to remember with fondness.

Amazing how a little reflection can put a damper on things for what is more embarassing than realizing that you’ve greeted the UPS driver with one nipple pointing to the sky while the other is aimed to the ground like a child searching for candy at a parade.

And yes. It is a chilly day.

Victoria isn’t the only one with a secret. These days things just don’t fall into place. They require coaxing and a laser level to set things straight. And today, with the excitement of Kait’s first day of post-secondary education and the hub-bub surrounding that, my secret was revealed to a man in a brown uniform who actually did a double take before averting his eyes to the dog as I reached for my package.

How am I ever going to order anything online again?