I was talking with Kirsten the other day, discussing the Paris Hilton interview on Larry King, when she said something I just love:

“It’s hard to find Jesus when you’re searching for yourself.”

Personally I think it should be a title of a book. I could probably contribute a few chapters myself since I fight the selfishness monster daily.

I’m not sure if it is because Darren and I recently made vows to each other after having gone through a divorce or if God is holding me to the fire of refinement, but I’ve been examining my heart and trying to find out exactly who God wants me to be as a woman, wife and mother. It’s part of the reason I wrote the presidential post last week.

This society of ours values women so differently than God and if I believed our society’s version of “a woman more precious than jewels”, I would definitely have to go get that boob job and tummy tuck in order to have any self worth. I would have to play my part in keeping up with the Joneses and reduce my family size to 1.3 children, exchanging my role of mommy for the corporate ladder, competing with men for position and power in order to prove I am not of the weaker sex.

God’s job description for a woman appeals to every ounce of femininity I possess:

“Love their Husbands, Love their Children, to be Discreet, Chaste, Workers at Home, Good, Kind, Submissive to their own Husbands …”
(Titus 2: 4-5)

I think I could easily spend ten lifetimes trying to achieve the qualities necessary to fulfill this passage properly and yet the world seems to think I would be taking a giant step backwards for womankind if I make this my life’s goal.

It makes me want to take the world by the shoulders and give it a good shake. I can’t imagine how it makes God feel.

My life is absolutely consumed with America’s favorite overtime pastime. To the point where my children refuse to eat anything other than hot dogs and cracker jacks.

Someone is always searching for a misplaced glove, summer rec shirt or water bottle. Every pair of pants owned by my children have permanent grass stains from the field of dreams. My family alone has wiped out our city’s entire stockpile of sunscreen and despite the 350 SPF we use, my kiddos are brown as nuts from the hours spent in the sun. I don’t know anyone as dedicated to the sport as my children are.

Which is why, as a cold front blew through this morning bringing with it showers and storms, panic ensued in my home. Whatever would my children do without the constant stimulation of pop flies and at bats? What could possibly compete with sliding into first base as team mates cheer on?

I’ll tell you what. Laundry. Book Shelf Organizing. Under The Bed Cleaning. Dusting something other than home plate.

Their Field of Dreams turned into what they term “Field of Nightmares”.

But today I get to stay in my jammies and that is a grand slam.

Parents just love to share photos of their children. More often than not, the child has been coaxed into smiling for the camera or the camera happens to capture a happy moment such as a birthday party or other joyous event.

Today I’m going to do something a little different. I’m going to post photos of my children which were taken immediately after I asked them to do a chore or help around the house.

Notice that the expressions are vastly different:

And let it be known that I was not asking these precious creatures to fetch water a mile away at the village well or to gather sticks and twigs from the plains of Africa so that I could heat water to boil our daily ration of rice. I asked them to clean up their rooms, vacuum the living room or run uptown to get bread from the local grocery store.

And I was the same way as a child. The only difference was that my mother wasn’t mean enough to post my chore face on her blog.

Char, Jeff, Bill, Lois, Deborah, Mr. Yello and everyone else who might be interested…I would love to find out which type you are according to the:

Meyers-Briggs Typology Test

I’m going to guess that Char is an ENFP, Jeff is an ESFJ, Bill is an ISTP, Lois is an ESTP, Deborah is an ENTJ and Mr. Yello is an INTP.

My type is INFJ
Introverted- 78%
Intuitive- 50%
Feeling- 25%
Judging- 56%

I can’t wait to find out the results!!

Really. Is it any wonder why I have a difficult time sleeping?

Who are your dream characters?