Archive for May 17th, 2007

I’m an Anti-Dentite

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

Today is the first anniversary of my kidney donation and I’m happy to say that the recipient is healthy and about to graduate from high school with her senior class. In the fall she’s going off to college like a normal kid. There is a deep satisfaction in knowing I had something to do with that.

I spent this remarkable day in a dental chair which is ironic because I’d rather give away my other kidney than have something metal scraping my teeth. Two hours of nitrous oxide made it almost tolerable but I still can’t believe that we live in an age where body parts can be shared amongst humans yet we still resort to drilling teeth as a reasonable method of dental care.

The dental assistant said to me “We recommend that you brush your teeth for at least four minutes, twice a day.”

“Are you therious?” I drooled. “Thex doethnt even take that long! You’ve got to be kidding!”

“No. I just do it while I’m showering.” she replied.

“Thex? Or brushing”

That’s when she turned the happy gas off.

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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. ~ Erma Bombeck
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