Today my son Kevin turns sixteen.

I vividly remember changing his diaper for the first time. My inexperience of changing a boy’s diaper led to him peeing all over my hospital bed but I feared that if I called a nurse to change my bedding, she would insist on taking him to the newborn nursery. Since I could not bear to part with my beautiful child, I put towels over the wet spots and cuddled with him until we both fell into a peaceful sleep.

I vividly remember one evening when Kevin was three years old I told him it was past his bedtime. Kevin came out of his room a few minutes later wearing his little grey suit with the adorable clip-on tie and his shiny black big boy shoes. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “Momma, you said it was Pastor Ed time!” He thought we were going to church and got ready all on his own.

I vividly remember sitting at the dining room table when he was five years old. It was his first day of school and we were practicing the letters of the alphabet when he set down his pencil, set his jaw in defiance and said “No. I am not going to write letters. Ever!”

I vividly remember when he was eight years old how he would argue with me over every subject that I would attempt to teach him. “That’s not how Columbus discovered America. How do you know?” Yet when his dad came home from work, I overheard Kevin explain what he had learned about Columbus that day.

I vividly remember how during his entire childhood, Kevin would follow his big sister Kaitlyn wherever she went. She would always be so patient, never displaying anger towards him even when he deserved it. To him, Kait was a second mother, his best friend and his confidant. Even though they would both deny it, they are still best friends today.

Kevin, of all my children, is most like me, which is why, at times, he drives me absolutely crazy. He is a fiercely loyal friend. He questions anything and everything, unwilling to accept answers of “because I said so”. He masks his lack of self confidence with humor or bravado. He wants the world to conform to him rather than him to the world. Occasionally he will let down his guard and show his vulnerability and in those moments, I want so badly to turn back time to the days where he needed me to hold his hand as he crossed the street, to keep him near to me and protect him from harm.

As he approaches adulthood, I see his potential for greatness. He will push past his wavering self-esteem and become a confidant man. He will find his place in this great big world. It is the greatest joy as a mother to witness the transformation though I still cannot bear the thought of parting with this child.

Happy Birthday Kevman. I am so blessed to be your mom.