When I was about eleven years old I asked my mom if I could wallpaper a hallway in our home. For some reason, which has completely disappeared with age, I enjoyed the process of measuring spaces and places to determine things like “How much wallpaper will I need to cover the walls?” My mom talked it over with my dad and I vividly remember hearing him say the words “I think she’s too young for a project like that.” Those were magical words to me. Tell me I can’t do something and I will make it my life mission to prove you wrong.
Mom let me begin the project and I did a splendid job. For an eleven year old.
My mother, in particular, always makes me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. She taught me from a very young age that I was capable. What a gift to be given! This is why I was able to teach myself to milk goats, make homemade soap, homeschool seven children and basically to bloom where I am planted. I know people who are filled with self doubt over little things and it baffles me.
On the other hand, I’ve got quite the rebellious streak in me. There have been times in my life where, while going through difficulty, I’ve chosen the hard path because I was certain I could handle it on my own without seeking God or the wisdom of good friends. Looking back at those times I think of the poem “Footprints in the Sand”:
One night I had a dream–I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the
Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed
two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the
last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the
sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, there was only one set
of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the
way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints. “I don’t understand why in times when I needed you
most, you should leave me.” The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child, I love
you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering.
“When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”
My version would end with the words:
“My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of
footprints, it was then that I dragged you along kicking and screaming.”
I’m pretty sure God’s car has a bumpersticker which says “Big Redheaded, Know-It-All Baby On Board”
