“So what if we used it in the barn,” he argued. “The fire will kill all the germs.”
How do you debate that kind of logic?
It’s the same logic that prompts 11 year old boys to jump off tall ladders with open umbrellas, or to put their full weight on tree branches with diameters no larger than a pinky finger.
Youth affords him a notion of invincibility and I find myself constantly standing in the gap, armed with a tirade of maternal warnings.
“What if the fire kills all but one of the billions of bacteria on that pitchfork?” I asked. “And then you start writhing on the ground in pain, foaming at the mouth because some strain of antibiotic-resistant bacteria has taken up residence in your intestines.”
“Yeah right! Like that would ever happen!” he laughed.
“Or worse, what if I ground you from Xbox for the rest of the summer for not listening to me when I tell you to put the pitchfork back in the barn?”
“Either way I would end up writhing on the ground, foaming at the mouth.”
“You have one minute to get it back in the barn.”
“Great,” he said as he walked towards the barn, shaking his head. “My intestines are now infected with a bunch of stupid rules.”
That’s right.
He’s got an acute case of inflammatory momsrightis.
Tags: Isaiah, It's My Life
August 21st, 2008 at 9:01 pm
“Momsrightis”…. *snort*
Can I hire you to write puns for me? I can never find a good one when I need one.
So you didn’t actually waste those 4 marshmallows did you?
August 21st, 2008 at 9:22 pm
He is bound to get a little devilish with a pitchfork, but I say, “Hold the marshmellows”
August 22nd, 2008 at 9:42 am
I can soooo relate to this!
August 23rd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
C’mon Mrs J! He’s just a kid. He can’t get infections. Let him have some fun.
August 24th, 2008 at 5:44 am
Nice Minnesota Wild shirt! To perpetuate the stereotype, let me say that us Canadians quite enjoy it when our American neighbours wear the colours of their home-town hockey teams!
Oh, and the pitchfork? What’s wrong with that? Up here, we hold our steaks over the fire on alluminum snow shovels? O.k., that might not be true, but now that I think of it, what a great idea! Must try to sell that one to the wife.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Jeff- We didn’t “waste” them, per say. We had a marshmallow fight. It was a sticky situation, for sure.
Bill- I prefer my mallows be roasted on something stainless steel without layers of rust and dung. I’m just picky that way.
Windy- Is that because you’re raising boys and all boys are prone to giving their mothers premature gray hair?
Braden- spoken like an adolescent male! How are things going for you at school???
Chubbs- I love how youu add the “u” to colors. If I couuld puull it off, I wouuld, becauuse it looks so sophisticated and… French! Let me know what the wife says about the steak and shovel thing becauuse if she gives youu the nod, I’ll let Isaiah roast the marshmallows on the pitchfork!