Today I spent some time following the rabbit trail from one mommy blog to another and I discovered the common theme amongst them:
My life is crazy because Christmas is fast approaching and I still haven’t polished the silver or hung the mistletoe. I can’t find Baby a good Christmas present because she already owns every toy ever made by Fisher Price. I shouldn’t even be taking the time to post on my blog. I have way too much to do and way too little time. I’m tired and I can’t wait to be done with this joyous event. Oh and dear reader, have yourself
a merry. f’ing. Christmas!
Mommies across the world are in a state of crisis, people! Why is there no Mommy Relief concert being held? Why is Oprah on vacation now…airing reruns during this time of female need? It makes no sense!
I feel that I must help this panic-stricken segment of our population, so listen up ladies.
Martha Stewart’s persona is not real. She is just like you only she can afford a full time staff to accomplish her mission of making other women feel inferior. So she sets her table with serveware from the Ming Dynasty. Big woop. Can she burp the alphabet and make small children erupt in laughter?
Your mother-in-law isn’t going to drag her gloved hand across your mantel in search of dust and if she does, promptly hand her a can of Pledge and a dusting rag and thank her for her attention to detail.
Love does not have a price tag. Buying your child a big expensive gift does not adequately convey your affection and devotion. Rubbing his or her back as they vomit from eating Aunt Mary’s fruitcake does.
No gift exchange, however pleasant, is worth the distraught feeling you get when you open January’s credit card bill and realize you shouldn’t have spent so much.
No one will remember that your windows were fingerprint-free or that you purchased new finger towels for the guest bathroom. Your guests will remember how welcomed they felt in your home, not your ability to keep it spot-free.
If your souffle falls, wine gets spilled or the dog humps your uncle’s leg while he’s saying grace, everyone will have a good laugh about it in the years to come.
Family is about practicing not being perfect together.
That’s the best gift of all.
Tags: Uncategorized
