May 22nd, 2008 by Jennine

My son, Kevin, has a pet bird named Bobo. Bobo is a Sun Conure which means that from the moment the sun rises until the moment the sun sets, this bird screeches in a pitch high enough to cause the human ear considerable pain. And speaking of pain… Bobo recently attacked Darren’s face for no apparent reason other than sheer opportunity. Kevin is the only one who can handle and interact with this creature.

In order to share this story, I must tell you that we have mice in our home. These aren’t the typical gray mice one would expect to find in a trap. These are brown and white mice which look like kind you might buy in a pet store. Except that we’ve never bought mice from a pet store.

Just because these mice are less ugly than their plain cousins doesn’t mean that I am more comfortable with their choice to reside with us. Having mice in our home is the same to me as discovering a child has an infestation of head lice or walking through a stranger’s sneeze at the mall. It’s an unsettling feeling, a sensation that one must always be on guard lest the mouse take you by surprise.

In desperation, I purchased an unusual remedy: Vinegar of the Four Thieves herbal mixture. Supposedly, if you burn the herb mixture inside your home, the mice will dislike it so much as to immediately take leave. I’d much rather try this than have to set traps and wait for the horrible snapping sound.

This morning I used it. I piled up a mound of the herb mix and started it on fire. It smoldered, releasing a very particular aroma. It was an odor which Cheech and Chong would have found pleasant. In my effort to drive the mice out, I became the Pied Piper of Willy Nelson.

As my basement filled with the smokey haze, I decided to move Bobo’s cage outside. Kevin loves his bird and I love Kevin. While the thought of life without the constant screech appealed to me, and the smoke would have probably killed him, I decided to be nice. Besides, it was a beautiful day and Bobo would enjoy the sun and fresh air.

When Kevin arrived home from school, he immediately noticed the bird cage outside and went to greet Bobo. He took him out of the cage and started walking around the yard with the bird on his shoulder like he’s done a hundred times before. However, on this day, Bobo decided to take flight into our woods next to our home. Usually Kevin just calls out and the bird returns to him but for whatever reason, Bobo climbed higher and higher into the tree.

We spent about eight hours this evening trying to talk the bird down from the tree and were unsuccessful. The bird is still outside, probably shivering in the cool temperatures of a spring night in Minnesota. My house smells like marijuana and I just saw a mouse run across my kitchen floor.

Today was like walking through one of life’s sneezes.