November 12th, 2006 by Jennine

Homelessness is not funny.

However, homeless people do funny things.

Take Proud Mary, for instance. Proud Mary is a homeless woman who has taken up residence on Venice Beach, California. She is known to be one fry short of a Happy Meal amongst her peers and has developed quite a reputation for herself.

In a city that has no public bathrooms, Proud Mary has taken it upon herself to improvise by relieving herself wherever the mood strikes her, be it a sidewalk or right on the beach itself. Witnesses observed her squatting with great vocalizations as she goes about her task, sometimes drawing the attention of the police.

The police are reluctant to arrest Proud Mary for her indecent exposure for one reason only:

She has threatened, and promised to make good on her threat, to defecate in the arresting officer’s squad car should he or she decide to take Proud Mary into custody.

Talk about a lose/lose situation.

Therefore, the authorities leave her alone and everyone is all the merrier, except, of course, the accidental tourist.

No one can ever say Proud Mary doesn’t have squat to her name.