Flame Retardant

We heat our home with a woodstove. I am not good at building or maintaining fires so this means that from the months of October through May I feel like a complete HVAC retard.

Because of my lack of woodstove skills, this house is either antarctic cold or an arid desert hot. There is no in between. Even the cricket which took up residence in our basement left in a huff complaining of poor sleeping conditions.

And we do this to save money because, apparently, money is more valuable than sanity. I envy those of you who turn a dial on the thermostat and forget about it. That’s how it should be. My portal to hell in the basement requires attention every two to three hours ’round the clock and the fire building skills of a boy scout leader.

I can only do my best.

That cricket can kiss my ash.

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck
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