I was told, upon accepting the job in the Lunch Room, that watching the television show “Prison Break” is mandatory for employment. It seems the Lunch Ladies like the Prison Break Guys a lot and that is fine. They were just trying to include me in their inner circle.
The problem is that I have not had the chance to watch even one episode, and while my employment is certainly not jeopardized by my inability to tune in, I cannot help but feel that I am letting the team down.
While dining with my new co-workers this week, I was asked again if I had watched the current episode. Now… when asked the same question the previous two weeks I was not suffering from the hellish reality of PMS. I was not experiencing the insanity of bi-polar mood swings on a minute-by-minute basis. A normal person would have responded, “Oh, shoot! I missed it!” or “Gosh, I was attending Homecoming festivities and completely forgot.” Yesterday’s response was altogether different:
“I’ll watch it if you want to pay me my hourly wage to do so.”
OMG. What just happened? Was I just thinking that or did I say it aloud?
Head Lunch Lady stared at me and blinked. Twice.
Oh yeah. I said it aloud.
This is a prime example of My Ovaries Made Me Do It. Words, once spoken, cannot be taken back no matter how many times you repeat in your head “I didn’t just say that. I didn’t just say that. I didn’t just say that!”
In addition, as long as I’m confessing my embarrassing moments of this week…here’s a morsel of wisdom I’d like to pass along.
If ever you are at work and find yourself in a circumstance where you need to pass gas fart fluff in a situation where you have no ability to remove yourself from your surroundings, may I suggest that you not try to spare co-workers the unpleasantries by doing it in a walk-in freezer.
Sound is not all that carries great distances in subzero temperatures.
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