Antapology

For the benefit of my future daughters-in-law, I’ve been trying to teach my five boys how to offer up a decent apology when feelings get hurt or injustices are inflicted. Relationships are made or destroyed by the ability or inability to admit a wrong and properly make amends. Bert and Ernie know how to do it. So did Cagney and Lacey. For some reason my boys cannot:

  • “I’m sorry (pause) but you made me do it.”
  • “Gosh, you freaking idiot. I’M SORRY!!”
  • “I’m sorry already. Now shut up!

Unless “I’m sorry” is followed by “How can I make it better?”, it doesn’t count. I cannot make someone be sorry for ruining someone else’s prized DVD player and I can’t force anyone into repentance for comparing someone’s teenage beard with that of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. In. Front. Of. Girls. At. School.

There are going to be five unmarried men living in my basement forever because no woman is going to put up with “What’s your problem? Like. I didn’t mean to do it so why should I say I’m sorry?

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2 Responses to “Antapology”

  1. Shellie Says:

    Do you have room for 2 more male teenagers, and a current husband in that basement of yours? Seriously, there are 5 VERY lucky young women out in the world who will thank you dearly only day!

  2. Jennine Says:

    Sure Shellie! Anything for you! Send ‘em on over. Because really, insanity has become like a comforting blanket to me. Instead of fighting it, I wrap myself in its warmth and relax into a drooling stupor.

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