“OH NOOOOO!!! WHAT A [bleeping] IDIOT! HE FUMBLED THE BALL AND THEY WOULD HAVE HAD THE GAME IF THEY WOULD HAVE JUST LET THE CLOCK RUN OUT!!!”
This outburst was followed by the crashing of a laundry basket onto the floor and what sounded to me like a combination of fingernails on a chalkboard and an 18-wheeler locking up its brakes. There is a technical name for the sound: The Man Cry.
I have only heard the Man Cry during sporting events and deer hunting season. I’ve not heard it in the delivery room as our children were born, nor have I heard it when serving Darren’s most favorite meal. I have not even heard it in the bedroom. Apparently there’s nothing I can do to elicit this response.
It seems to me that the Man Cry is made when a male is overwhelmed with either grief or joy, usually because of another male’s actions during a GAME. The Man Cry is most often followed by a physical outburst of some fashion. Today’s casualty was the basket of folded towels.
Men think women are impossible to understand.
Ha!
I will never comprehend Hemotions.
When is the last time you heard a woman staring at the television yelling at the top of her lungs:
“OPRAH! NOOOOOOO! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING PAIRING THAT BLOUSE WITH THOSE PANTS??? WHAT ARE YOU?? A FREAKING IDIOT!”
[Crashing of a vase to the floor]
Shemotions are much quieter. Shemotions are far less likely to cause the unfolding of folded towels or the deafening of ears. Females don’t waste their breath in short, powerful outbursts. We like to drag it out for long periods of time.
I know opposites attract and that male and female complement each other in the obvious ways…but really…did God ever consider Sunday afternoons when pairing us together?
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