September 15th, 2006 by Jennine

There is no such thing as preventable stress when you have to wake seven children in the morning. Every single day they all go through the five stages of grief:

Denial- “Honey, wake up. It’s time for school.
18 and life You got it
18 and life you know
Your crime is time
and it’s 18 and life to go…”

[Slight movement at first then copius amounts of facial contortions] “Nnooo it’s not. It can’t be. I just went to sleep a minute ago.”

Anger- “You need to get up now. I woke you up five minutes ago and you’re not getting out of bed. I don’t want you to be late for school.”

“Why do even half to go to school anyways? It’s stupid!”

Bargaining- “Mom…please…just give me five more minutes and I promise to get up.”

“Okay buddy, I’ve let you sleep for a total of ten extra minutes now. GET UP!”

“Just let me stay home from school for today and I’ll clean out the fridge and clean both bathrooms.”

Depression- “You’re going to school. You have one minute to get your freckled butt out of bed.”

“Ugh.” [throws covers over head and turns away from me]

“38…37…36…”

Acceptance- “FINE! I’m getting up. Now leave me alone !”

I hate mornings.