Why do people in movies who get amnesia always remember the word “amnesia”?

Why don’t doctors ever prescribe roller skates for depression?

If you don’t try, at least you’ll never know that you can’t, right?

Eating a sandwich under protest is probably the worst way to eat a sandwich.

Kevin came home from college for the weekend and in the two hours that he’s been here, we haven’t argued once. I call that PROGRESS, people.
Our lives are about to become unmanageable with Kevin wrestling in venues that take us out of state at the same time we have four other boys playing football AT FOUR DIFFERENT LEVELS. That means FOUR different football schedules which means we will be watching football games almost every weeknight AND Saturdays until November. It’s getting to the point where my Google calendar pops up with a “REALLY?” message every time I enter a new event but I’m married to a man who is convinced that Child Protective Services will be called if we miss a kid’s sporting event.

I’m more of the mind that if I can keep us supplied with milk and toilet paper, I’m exceeding parental expectations.
Did you know that schools have the right to insist that each child has a separate pair of shoes to be worn only in the gym during the school year?? ~insert F Bomb~ Ten pairs of shoes, even cheap ones, adds up to almost a week’s worth of groceries. Janitors these days…. back when I was in school, we left black marks and sand and mud on the gym floors and the custodians called it job security!

This is my favorite story of the day: Momma Knows Best

And my favorite video today:

Have a great weekend!