I am beginning to wonder if I would not benefit from taking an anti-depressant. Today I found what I guessed to be a smeared booger on the wall in the living room. My immediate reaction was to fall to the ground, curl up in fetal position and sing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” in a falsetto...
Monthly Archives: November 2006
Just a word to the wise: When your teenage son asks you to purchase “Works” toilet bowl cleaner, chances are that he’s not going to use it for its intended purpose. Did you know that if you put a small amount of this toilet bowl cleaner into a plastic soda bottle along with a balled...
I was sitting in the car waiting for Darren to come out of the gas station when a teenage girl drove up along side me. She was driving a rather beat up car and was dressed in jeans and a grungy looking coat but she had this fresh shiny face and long blonde hair which...
I miss the old Michael Jackson. Today I was thinking about the whole “We Are the World” thing, trying to understand from Quincy Jones’s perspective why on Earth he would allow Kim Carnes and Sheila E to perform in that song, when suddenly the grief hit me like a smack in the face: The Michael...
She was the first one off the bus and I watched as she ran the entire length of our long driveway, obviously eager to share something with me. “Mom, I cried in reading class today.” said Elly the moment she walked in the door after school. “Oh my gosh Elly, why did you cry?” I...
She was the first one off the bus and I watched as she ran the entire length of our long driveway, obviously eager to share something with me. “Mom, I cried in reading class today.” said Elly the moment she walked in the door after school. “Oh my gosh Elly, why did you cry?” I...
Homelessness is not funny. However, homeless people do funny things. Take Proud Mary, for instance. Proud Mary is a homeless woman who has taken up residence on Venice Beach, California. She is known to be one fry short of a Happy Meal amongst her peers and has developed quite a reputation for herself. In...
Imagine, if you will, being a thousand miles from home, on a mission to get a vehicle out of an impound lot situated in a place which the local police officers refer to as “the gates of hell” in the middle of the desert. Kirsten and I were asked to make the three hour road...
Dear Children, Tonight we are participating in an event called Trick or Treating and I need you to understand a few things. One, remember when I told you never, ever, EVER take candy from a stranger? Remember all the different times I wouldn’t stop talking about Stranger Danger until you promised not to ever, ever,...