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Monthly Archives: October 2006

A Hallmark Moment

Boys are odd creatures. Tonight I walked down the stairs to our basement intending to say goodnight when I overheard Kevin and Daniel rough-housing and talking in their room. I quietly listened outside their door. “Hey Danny, last night when you were asleep I put the bottle of deer scent under your nose and you...

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Click

A few years ago we had problems with the television set in our bedroom. Every night while we were watching the 10 PM news, we would get as far as the sports segment and the tv would suddenly turn off without explanation. Darren would have to get up out of bed and turn it back...

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Life Lesson 4,127

It was a great idea gone wrong. Our bathroom was too plain for my taste and I needed to make it more interesting, more inviting. I looked for decorating ideas in magazines which were laying around my home. Better Homes and Gardens did nothing for me. Neither did the kid’s Highlights. But then I saw...

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Lost In Translation

  The following are literal English translations of Latin phrases as interpreted by a stay-at-home mother: Ad absurdum- “For the third time, you cannot have another scoop of ice cream” Ad nauseum- “Tummy ache? I told you not to have another scoop of ice cream” Addendum- “Don’t forget to brush your teeth” Affidavit- the evidence...

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Flame Retardant

We heat our home with a woodstove. I am not good at building or maintaining fires so this means that from the months of October through May I feel like a complete HVAC retard. Because of my lack of woodstove skills, this house is either antarctic cold or an arid desert hot. There is no...

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Drastic Measures

Elly needed a ruler for her homework and searched the house for quite some time before coming up empty handed. She thought about it for a while and said “I am going to make my own ruler.” “You go, girl. Way to improvise!” She took a piece of paper and made one inch marks using...

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Hydration Specialist

This just in: It was another win tonight for the varsity football team. We are undefeated this year thanks to my son’s great efforts as water boy. Seriously. What team can be undefeated this late into the season if they aren’t well hydrated during the game? Darren and I have yet to miss the Friday...

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Kidney Donation

The News During a phone conversation in February 2005, Kirsten sounded sad on the telephone so I asked, “What’s wrong?” “We just found out that Rachel’s kidneys are failing and she’s going to need a transplant.” Rachel, Kirsten’s niece, was diagnosed with Focal Segmental Sclerosis, an autoimmune disease, when she was only 5 years old....

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Party On

This morning we explained to the kids that Darren and I are having an “adventure” together tonight. We chose to tell them at the last minute so that no great plans to have their own little adventure (“Party at Kait’s house because their parents are going out of town!”) could be made in our absence....

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